tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341540644995724984.post4006094636379026616..comments2012-01-07T15:45:40.316-08:00Comments on That's Life: obgyn oh myFour Jordanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13563090187161059781noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341540644995724984.post-72023090615270435872011-06-03T04:45:56.589-07:002011-06-03T04:45:56.589-07:00I'm so, so sorry you are going through this. E...I'm so, so sorry you are going through this. Every woman's experience is different, but the one common thing running through them is intense grief. You're right that it is wrong for miscarriage to be shoved under the rug. Apparently at least 1 in every 4 women have a miscarriage. Why is it such a secret? I felt guilty, like I had done something wrong, like my body had 'failed'. I felt ashamed. I irrationally kept trying to think of how to 'turn back the clock' and make him alive again. I've never known such pain in my life. It is true that it has changed me permanently.<br /><br />I'm glad that you've been getting good treatment at your hospital and OB office. It makes such a difference. So many women have their grief brushed aside. I know what you mean about not being able to say the words on the phone at the doctor's office. Several days after I found out Innocent had died, I got a phone call from the lactation specialist at the clinic. She had me on a list of women who wanted to breastfeed and no one had told her my baby had died. I had to wait for her long, cheery greeting and explanation so I could get the words past the lump in my throat: "I lost the baby." She was appropriately horrified at her faux pas, but the pain had already happened.<br /><br />I'm rambling - sorry. I just wanted to let you know that while I would never say to someone that "I understand what you're going through" (because I can't - I'm not them), I have suffered and am still suffering, down this hard road too. It does get better - something that I was told by many people. It's so hard to believe and understand how it can get better, but somehow it does. And it won't mean that you have forgotten or ceased to care about Avalon.<br /><br />(((hugs)))Matushka Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10522097149212770814noreply@blogger.com