I'm not always a mess.

Despite the outward appearance on this blog, I promise, I am not always a mess.  Lately I've been frustrated because we're spending the better part of our day sorting out employment, disability, school registration, and medical treatment issues.  That's on top of the strong medications I take that make me sleepy, and the nasty ulcers I have in my mouth.  Oh yeah, and grief.  Good old grief...you wake up thinking it just might be gone, and then it sneak attacks you at the worst moment possible.  

Thank goodness I have a loving husband that deals with the medical stuff for me.  As I mentioned earlier, just dealing with the calls can stir up anxiety that is party due to the way I was MIStreated for so long, and party because of Stiff Person Syndrome itself.  We still have no answer on WHY I need to go in to talk to my doctor about the IVIG treatment before restarting.  

He is on-call at the hospital this week, and his assistant has been unable to reach him.  She has no clue why he did this, either, and she feels horrible.  I've been flaring up for over two weeks now, and I NEED treatment.  The steroids haven't helped, so unless I want chemo meds, I need the IVIG like the tin man needs oil.  The doctor probably wants to ask something stupid that the assistant could handle, and that makes it more frustrating. I normally love this doctor, but the past two weeks have been horrible.  

First we couldn't get through because of a new staffer that can't take a message for her life, and now we're waiting for a return phone call.  The doctor's assistant suggested going to the ER, get admitted to the ER, and ask for them to page the doctor.  If I weren't already a mess, and if I thought it would help, I would do it.  The ER can't give me the IVIG, and they can't give me pulse dose steroids without reaching my doctor that is seemingly unreachable.  *Sigh*

I'm looking forward to the Gold Country Chicken Sale this weekend in Auburn.  If anyone is interested, it is the 18th at Echo Valley Ranch Feed Store.  People will start setting up at 9:00 AM, and it ends around 2:00  PM.  We're planning on trading one of our Hamburgs for a friendly bantam that Emma can use for showmanship.  She asked for "one of those fuzzballs... you know, the nice ones that like to be held."  So, it sounds like we  might come home with a silky. :)